Sunshine, Lollipops & Rainbows

Ask me anything   Native Floridian with eclectic taste in music, a dirty sense of humor, a bit of a potty mouth & severe sense of sarcasm.

bestnatesmithever:

Wanna help me with a project? Let’s take the Curious Comedy Theater all over the world. Send me a message and I’ll send you a pin. Share your photos using the hashtag #curiouspin. 

— 17 hours ago with 102 notes
"Have sex. Have dirty, raunchy sex. Have sex in the bed, on the counter, in the car, in the bathroom. Have it everywhere. Have passionate love making sex. Fuck. Go slow. Gaze into their eyes. Learn every curve and bump on their body. Learn what makes them quiver. Learn what makes them cum the hardest. Feel their body and fall back in love with them. Just have sex."
— 2 days ago with 103975 notes
improvisingfatherhood:

thedaddycomplex:

Time for another guest post. This one comes from Tumblr’s own improvisingfatherhood.
Improvising Fatherhood’s Patented Parenting Techniques!By Nate Smith
(*All patents are pending)
Wow, I have been a father for almost five years now. That’s half a decade, or as I like to call it, one fifth of a quarter of a century! During my time as a dad, I have developed a few unique techniques to dealing with children.
Today I am going to share with you some of my best parenting tips and tricks.
Can’t get your kids to eat their food? Wait until they are asleep and then feed it to them intravenously.
Kids shouldn’t spend too much time watching TV. Mix it up by letting them watch their favorite shows on an iPad, iPhone, or other mobile devices.
Be an actual helicopter parent. Your kids would love it if you flew them around everywhere in a real helicopter. 
Keep your kids from getting spoiled by making them sleep in a Ziploc bag in the refrigerator. 
Don’t feed your kids junk food. Give them name-brand candy only.
Even though you know you’ve made a lot of mistakes in your life and are somewhat unhappy with how your life has turned out, make sure to force your kids to live their lives exactly like you.
When your kids are asleep whisper positive affirmations to them like, “It’s amazing I’ve managed to keep you alive this long.”
Remember, kids can smell fear…and farts…and they will call you out on that.
Make sure to back up all your pictures of your kids. That’s going to be valuable blackmail material some day.
Don’t let your kids use the word headcanon. Just don’t.
(photo by Lis Purdy)

Thanks to David for letting me play in his sandbox for a day.

improvisingfatherhood:

thedaddycomplex:

Time for another guest post. This one comes from Tumblr’s own improvisingfatherhood.

Improvising Fatherhood’s Patented Parenting Techniques!
By Nate Smith

(*All patents are pending)

Wow, I have been a father for almost five years now. That’s half a decade, or as I like to call it, one fifth of a quarter of a century! During my time as a dad, I have developed a few unique techniques to dealing with children.

Today I am going to share with you some of my best parenting tips and tricks.

  1. Can’t get your kids to eat their food? Wait until they are asleep and then feed it to them intravenously.
  2. Kids shouldn’t spend too much time watching TV. Mix it up by letting them watch their favorite shows on an iPad, iPhone, or other mobile devices.
  3. Be an actual helicopter parent. Your kids would love it if you flew them around everywhere in a real helicopter. 
  4. Keep your kids from getting spoiled by making them sleep in a Ziploc bag in the refrigerator. 
  5. Don’t feed your kids junk food. Give them name-brand candy only.
  6. Even though you know you’ve made a lot of mistakes in your life and are somewhat unhappy with how your life has turned out, make sure to force your kids to live their lives exactly like you.
  7. When your kids are asleep whisper positive affirmations to them like, “It’s amazing I’ve managed to keep you alive this long.”
  8. Remember, kids can smell fear…and farts…and they will call you out on that.
  9. Make sure to back up all your pictures of your kids. That’s going to be valuable blackmail material some day.
  10. Don’t let your kids use the word headcanon. Just don’t.

(photo by Lis Purdy)

Thanks to David for letting me play in his sandbox for a day.

— 2 days ago with 110 notes

thegoddess-afrodite:

reblogalert:

Lifehack: Accidentally text the wrong person? Immediately put your phone on airplane mode and once it fails to deliver, delete the message.

This can save lives

(via hotrocks1)

— 3 days ago with 268106 notes
"The country runs better with a good-looking man in the White House. Look at Nixon. No one wanted to fuck him…so he fucked everyone."
Samantha Jones (via whatwouldcarriesay)

(via whatwouldcarriesay)

— 3 days ago with 120 notes